Title: |
Preparing to be successful - knowing why | ||
Author: |
Joe L. Gaskovski | Section: |
Success |
Submitted: |
March 2008 | Expertise base on: |
Experience |
Henry Ford once wrote: "Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success". Today you'll be getting ready by asking a crucial question that can quickly accelerate you toward your goal of "being successful". That question is why?
Why at all?
Why do you want to be successful at all? This seems obvious and most people would respond with something like: to have more money, more power, more fame, to worry less and travel more, or to work less and buy more. All of these responses are valid and revolve around the two basic human desires of minimizing pain and maximizing pleasure. But none of them actually lead you any closer to the goal of "being successful". Instead they move you further away. Think about it. What happens after you get more money, more power or recognition? Are you happier? Are you really successful? Isn't it strange that you often end up with this odd feeling that something is still missing in life. The momentary euphoria of the new job, car, or bigger paycheck fades into a mysterious void and you feel just as empty as you felt earlier. Why is there no real satisfaction from any of these accomplishments?
No amount of material gain can bring lasting happiness for the same reason that no pill will cure a headache. The pill acts to temporarily relieve pain but it does not cure the problem causing the pain (the headache could be caused by an allergic reaction, stress localized in the neck and shoulders, a pinched nerve, and so on). The same is true for material success. It (the new job, new partner, more money) may temporarily distract you from the challenges in life but they do not create lasting success. The missing ingredient has to do with your motivation, the "why" you want to be successful at all.
Think about it
So what is your journey all about? It's about purpose, meaning and answering the question why. The idea of having a purpose is familiar to anyone in an organization that aspires to achieve excellence. In business, a "purpose" is called a "vision" and it is nothing more than a clear statement of the future the organization aspires to achieve. This single statement expresses the organization's raison d'être, their reason for being. Look at any company that does not have a clear or supported vision and you'll find one that expends huge resources (time, money and manpower) but never gets closer to their goals. The end result is an internal battle of opposing pushes and pulls instead of an outward focus on the real competition.
Visionless (purposeless) people are much the same way. You can always tell when a person lacks a purpose in life. He or she jumps from one thing to another, always seeking one more possession, another relationship, or some object to own or control. Like the visionless organization, their inner turmoil creates outer crises, which reinforces their initial motivation to acquire more things.
When you look at successful or great individuals and organizations you see the opposite. They all have a clear vision for themselves (as did Helen Keller - who was the first deaf-blind person to graduate from college), for their companies (as did Henry Ford - who imagined and built a car for the masses), or for society at large (as did Martin Luther King - who dreamed of and pursued a truly free society for all). So your personal vision of a future, your purpose in life, is the real reason why-you-do what-you-do, and it is the foundation of being successful. It is your compass. But if this is so important, why do so many people lack a purpose in their lives?
Escape from mental slavery
Whether you realize it, believe it, or even accept it, a strange form of mental slavery has many people trapped. I don't mean they are slaves to the will of others, although this may be true at times. I'm referring to how willing some people are to give up their freedom to think and act independently. Look around and you'll find that most are followers, conformists, and dependents. They rely on someone else (a spouse, a friend, a boss) or something else (a company, the government, a social group) to make them happy, satisfied or successful. They've given up their belief that they shape their own destiny, and instead subscribe to the idea that somebody else will take care of them or knows what's best. Eventually they convince themselves they're not responsible for what happens in life. They've become victims of circumstance, and they complain about it and place blame outside of their own actions. They've lost their sense of independence, freedom, and any measure of personal accountability. In short they've become zombies.
Welcome to the modern zombie
I use the word zombie to playfully represent a creature of habit that goes through life in autopilot. These souls are trapped in a world they do not like, but are afraid or unwilling to do what they can to break free from it. A zombie is anyone who follows an unfulfilling routine for days, months and years on end. They cling to lifeless, loveless relationships knowing it's not right or healthy. They stay in mindless, meaningless jobs knowing they contribute nothing of value. Their energy dwindles daily until one morning they look up into the eyes of the stranger in the mirror and wonder what happened to the last 10 years of their life. Do you know any zombies?
So how do you break free from the zombie spell? It's really quite simple. Do something different today than yesterday. If you're not happy with the way things are, change them and don't wait for someone else to do it for you. Fire the autopilot that steers your life and move in another direction. Be proactive; read a book, take a course, find a coach, sign up for a workshop, do something different today compared with what you did yesterday. Don't be misled by anyone who professes to know what's best for you. The only person that knows that is you!
Values and beliefs
It's easy to see what a lack of purpose leads to. It's essential then to figure out what your life should be about. And the way to do that is to start with a clear understanding of what is important for you. Take a moment and turn off the phone, the TV and the computer, and sit back and reflect on what you value in life. Write down the top 5 things you value most. These could be almost anything as long as they are important to you. They could include: helping others, financial freedom, personal growth, enjoying family time, loving your partner, having a career, learning, spending time with friends, and so on. Be honest with what you place on your list.
Next add the top 5 things you typically spend most of your time doing during the day. These could include: watching TV, shopping, talking on the phone, arguing, spending time with your loved ones, sleeping, eating, and so on. You may begin to see some disconnect between what you value and what you spend time doing. This is a good realization, as it gives you the opportunity to realign your compass with your goal. Now considering what you've identified as your core values, answer the following questions: If you were ninety years old today looking back at your ideal life, what would that life have looked like? What would you have done or seen, who would you have spent your time with, and how would you have lived? The answer to this question is a reality check that allows you to make adjustments on the way toward being successful.
Trap of positive thinking
It is important to be positive about what you want to achieve, however, simply imagining a positive future is not good enough. There are many people who believe that thinking positively is all they have to do and somehow the universe will magically bring what they need, want and desire. This is not only naive; it is dangerous. Look throughout history and you'll find that all successful men and women did more than dream about a future; they engaged in focused action and supported it with personal determination, dedication, and perseverance. There are many competencies that support being successful and none of them have anything to do with wishful thinking.
There is no big secret to being successful, it is nothing more than the journey that begins every morning when you wake up, and continues throughout the day. As you go about that journey, you may confront one or both of the two biggest obstacles that keep most people from changing their lives. They include the experience of fear (of the unknown or of change itself) or of self-doubt (in one's abilities and courage to continue). Both seem insurmountable at first, but in reality they have far less power than we give them credit for. As an example I can share with you a recent note about the fear that one woman experienced on her journey. It reads:
"Hi Joe, I thought it was important to let you know that you had a positive impact on my life. I had been feeling that my job was not fulfilling and when my husband went through a depression about a year and half ago I suddenly felt trapped. I worried about money, and about his health and I also had fears that our dreams would never happen. I think the turning point was when I attended your Wired-to-Win seminar in January. You asked us to write down our biggest fear that would keep us from reaching our goals. And when you said mine out loud I almost cried. My biggest fear is that I won't have the courage to keep going. So I decided at that moment that along with all the other challenges life has in store for us, fear should not be one of them. - Janet"
Remember, being successful is within your grasp. All it takes is for you to make a different choice, and to support that choice with real conviction and repeated action. Why not start today? Find a new direction, choose another path to follow, the choice is always yours to make. It is never too late to strive toward your vision of a great lifelong adventure. Dare yourself to dream, and if you're still not sure, consider the thought-provoking words of Mark Twain ... "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the things you did."
In the next article we'll look at the competencies that are typically found in highly successful individuals, so until then enjoy your journey!
